10.12.2002

nicknames for girlfriends when they're not looking:

Stanley calls... Alice = the lice.
Steve calls... Leslie = the lesinator.

"See, to live is to suffer. But to survive... well, that's to find meaning in the suffering." - DMX (Slippin')

for the homies back home that rocked DMX.

10.11.2002

Daily. People we know walk their own paths. Some know where they are going, others make it up along the way. It is what the Chinese call "ming," or destiny. The convergence, divergence of my path and yours is intangible. I don't know where I'll be in a year. Neither do you. The future is not concrete. My mom called this "yuan," or the affinity between any two beings in the universe. She taught me the "yuan" between two people waxes and wanes in a flux that is out of our control. Sometimes it will diminish completely, other times it will only appear to lose its way but eventually regain prior vigor. Let me take my path, but walk with me. And when we meet again, I will see you at the crossroads.

10.10.2002

car LOCO 6 9: damn you were a true 2nd semester senior
naryantek: yeah second semester was like mr.hyde took over
naryantek: general thade styles
car LOCO 6 9: brINg me tHE spAcemAN
naryantek: HAHAHHAHAA

los dying a slow death at yale:

car LOCO 6 9: today at dinner
car LOCO 6 9: this girl was like
car LOCO 6 9: have you ever heard that song like
car LOCO 6 9: she's like
car LOCO 6 9: it's getting hot in here or something
naryantek: LOL
car LOCO 6 9: so take off all your clothes or something like that?
naryantek: hahahha omg
car LOCO 6 9: and i was like
car LOCO 6 9: It'S GETTin' HOT in HERE!
car LOCO 6 9: SO Take OFf ALL your clothes!!
car LOCO 6 9: WOOT WOOT!
car LOCO 6 9: and they were all like oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy gooooooooodness
naryantek: hahhahaha

I had this on my profile, but im gonna post it here. Cuz that's what this blog is for. The multi-purpose bulletin board.

T3 pictures:
http://www.thearnoldfans.com/movies/t3/pictures/warnerbros/warnerbrospictures.htm

This thing has been too serious lately. My girlfriend called me morbid. Prior to this blog, she said I was a rock. As in, I'm not in touch with my feelings. As in, I'm an emotional brick wall. I can't help this, I'm a guy. Then I go try to express myself through writing and she calls me morbid. Whadhel. So to prove that I don't practice witchcraft and worship the occult (I'm actually a non-practicing Buddhist), here's my less serious side:

kurupt27ls: if your dark jedi, you can force amidala to strip
naryantek: im there!
naryantek: naboo XXX
kurupt27ls: hell yes
kurupt27ls: star whores
kurupt27ls: episode XXX
naryantek: A new Whore
naryantek: attack of the whores
naryantek: the whores strike back
naryantek: return of the whore
naryantek: the phantom whore
kurupt27ls: princess LABIA
naryantek: vulva fett
kurupt27ls: jabba the nutt
naryantek: HAHHAHHAHA LOL
naryantek: XXX-wing
kurupt27ls: or we could make the death star a giant titty
kurupt27ls: the laser can be the nipple
naryantek: HAHAHAhaha
kurupt27ls: hahahahah

10.09.2002

Imagine being blessed with interminable insomnia, and you're life would just be one long day...

Last night I had trouble falling asleep. It was a luxury I wasn't dead tired. Whenever I don't tire myself out though, I'm amped. Right before I'm supposed to pass out, my mind will try to book it by going in 9 different directions at once. A razor cut montage of the week to come, clips from the past, worries, hopes, fears, anime I have to watch, cool songs I just listened to, friends from past, present, future etc. I have this imagination that is beyond my control. I wonder if thinking too much qualifies as paranoia. It's like that song "Papercut" by Linkin Park.

My past has come back to haunt me. I've been possessed by insomnia since sometime before the 4th grade but lately I'm so constantly tired that I can't refuse sleep. The 4th grade me used to think night was when I'd get abducted by aliens. Vampires and zombies prowled the suburbs. A ghost behind every shadow... could get away with tapping that door down the hall, and no one would hear, except me. Being the only 4th grader awake at 3am made the world cold, laconic, sinister. And insomnia struck often. Sitting there in submerged darkness, I brooded. I'm not saying I turned deranged, but it's frustrating because I needed rest. The harder I tried to fall asleep, the less effective it was. Sometimes I'd give up and just try to wait it out until morning. I'd be on the verge of insanity when the next thing I hear is my alarm clock. Morning. The lack of sleep has altered my perceptions. I drifted through sunbleached southern California schooldays in a dreamlike daze. I didn't walk, I floated... and wandered... and constantly wondered where I was. It was funny how life got reversed. Instead of dreaming at night, I'd daydream while the rest of the world was awake. I learned irony at an early age.

That's why I'm always so tired during the day. Daytime is not for me, I'm only truly conscious from midnight to 5am. Those who lived with me in the dorms knew. I've stopped trying to fight the insomnia. Stanley Lee was not meant to sleep when everyone else did. I guess you can sleep all you want when you're dead.

10.08.2002

starving college student. spare some anime to feed a hungry imagination.

i need the following:
outlaw star
macross 7
gasaraki
armitage III
bubblegum crisis OAV
orguss
mospeada

cyberpunk /si:'ber-puhnk/ /n.,adj./ A fast-paced science-fiction subgenre characterized by countercultural antiheroes trapped in a dehumanized, high-tech future; launched in 1984 by William Gibson's epoch-making novel "Neuromancer".

film: Blade Runner, Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Johnny Mnemonic, The Matrix, Aliens, Aeon Flux, The 5th Element, Strange Days, Total Recall, Minority Report, TRON, T2

literature: anything by William Gibson or Philip K. Dick; Orwell's 1984, Huxley's Brave New World, Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451

10.07.2002

Examine any individual closely enough and you will find flaws. So don't disappoint yourself.

"... and I know you're shining down on me from heaven, like so many friends we've lost along the way..." - Mariah Carey, Boyz II Men (One Sweet Day - acapella)

Last night I had a dream about a good friend who passed away. Today my thoughts have been swimming. I had the dream because my other friend just went through a similar ordeal and she was telling me about it the other day. On a microscopic scale death doesn't seem to happen alot, just often enough to remind us of our mortality. Death is playful. He likes to tease and goad the survivors. The truth is there are no guarantees in life. We don't have the right to expect anything. Human existence is unpredictable. Chaos. We pacify ourselves with the illusion of control, or everyone would have freaked out a long time ago. I know religious people reading this will disagree (esp. Ben). What assumptions do YOU live your life with? So if you're out there reading this and you can identify, here's to those who've moved on, and here's to us also moving on...

"... thoughts like a hundred moths... trapped in a lampshade..." - Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against the Machine - Born of a Broken Man)

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